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KankleKiller's UFC 107 Preview
Home » KankleKiller's UFC 107 PreviewBy Jon Rooker
UFC 107 is a well timed event that truly makes us look forward to a night of fights. Boxing has long been the horny 16 year-old of the combat sports world. It started with some alcohol and some boring activity that was more a formality than an event. In boxing it was known as an under card, when we were 16 we knew it as a school activity, band camp, dinner, movie or Prom. Then, when the formalities were over, we settled back for a quick one-and-done finish for the main event. The Mike Tyson era took it to the full extent with several finishes in the first 3-minutes, which was only slightly longer than it took to get the school slut to spread her legs after the prom dress hit the floor. Thus, putting an exciting, but short lived end to an expensive night that was all based on those few, precious, moments of joy.
Then came the UFC, and the theory of a full night of joyous fights, round after round, fight after fight, we all enjoyed a full night of fun. (The sex world not to be upstaged did the same thing, but instead of MMA, or UFC, they called it VIAGRA, and their pleasure was extended all night long as well.)
Lately, the UFC has had its run of bad luck. It was bound to happen. Their fighters, their main event, big name fighters, some of the true superstars have not been available to fight. As Hank Williams Jr. talked about a lost highway, with a friend moving of to LA to become a movie star, Rampage Jackson has gotten the same idea. I’m not sure if a role as the replacement for Mr.T will kick-start a full fledge acting career, but it has definitely got him out of sync with his day job. So, somebody best call a head shrink, or N’Sync, Ghostbusters, or whoever the hell it takes to screw his head back on just a half turn and get him back in the octagon. I have a world of respect for Rampage, and hate to see him blow off such a great career, because despite the Randy Couture example, you can’t do this MMA thing forever.
Anderson Silva seems to care more about eating than fighting. There’s the persistent rumor that he wants to fight Roy Jones Jr., but it can’t be that simple. Besides, Roy Jones Jr., aint Roy Jones Jr., anymore. Not to mention, would you throw away a career that finally pays so well you could retire off of a single fight’s income for the opportunity to prove something that could easily be checked by training with Roy Jones Jr. and sparring a few rounds in practice? I don’t get it. Personally, I think he wants more money, but doesn’t draw well enough to have the leverage necessary to command it. That said, I’m sure he’s at home trying to decode the secret recipe of cheeto’s as we speak. Maybe he can create them in liquid form, and sell bottled cheeto drink to make up for the money he’s losing by not fighting. Then, on the heels of that hoopla, he’s injured and has to take off from fighting until at least 2010.
Then came Brock Lesnar, the biggest thing to hit the octagon since sumo wrestlers roamed the 8 walled cage. He burst on the scene, wins the heavyweight title, then goes down to an undisclosed, or at least under-disclosed illness of some sort. I’ve never seen such a veil of secrecy imposed over a fighter’s illness before. They openly admit Mono, and a bacterial infection in the intestine, but won’t be more specific. For God’s sake, was a gerbil involved? Really, WTF is it, now I’m curious. It’s like Tiger Woods, the world asks how the wreck occurred, and he issues an apology banging chicks other than his wife. Unless he was trying to run over one or more of them, that doesn’t explain the accident. . . And, if I run into a tree at 2:30 A.M, the police will try everything from breathalyzers, force blood testing, and anal probing is need be to determine my Blood Alcohol Content. Tiger does it, and the thought never crosses their mind? I guess I’ll count my lucky stars, if I happened to cheat on my girlfriend, the girl would be too embarrassed to ever admit it, instead of calling the National Enquirer and selling the story like they are doing to Tiger. Thank God, even Enquiring minds don’t want a description of me naked.
Machida, coming off what should have been a loss to Shogun, managed to suffer a hand injury, which will sideline him for sometime as well. Hopefully, they remove the uni-brow while he’s under as well. Big Nog seems to have a reoccurring staph infection that has, well, reoccurred and put him out of action for the near future. Carwin’s not doing much better, with a bum wheel. Gonzaga has been battling staph lately as well. As for healthy superstars, we have GSP, and thank god he’s not human, he’s French Canadian, which makes him immune to human illness, staph, and other such ailments. Possibly even gerbils. But he can’t fight every month. At least I don’t think he can?
Now, Dana White takes lemons and makes lemon aide out this mess. His worst main card bout is Paul Buentello matching up against Stafan “Skyscraper” Struve. Not that either fighter makes us think they have a chance to challenge the dominance of the sick, injured, or mostly dead ranks of the UFC heavyweight division, but each gives something fun to watch. Anytime Goliath type-fighters appear, we like to watch the genetic freaks in action. Buentello has been around for a while, and will be game to launch surface to air missiles in Goliath’s direction at every opportunity. This is just the foreplay, like that nasty bra that must be removed before we see the jewels the card has to offer. Dam bra clasps, forever my sworn enemy!
Next up, we have a Kenny Florian v. Clay Guida. No word on whether the Geico cavemen will be at ringside to root for one of their own, but it’s a sure thing Guida comes ready to fight, probably trained and conditioned to go 12 rounds, just in case there is a last minute change, or a tournament of champions is involved and the winner gets to fight the winner of the BJ Penn v. Diego Sanchez fight, immediatly following this match. Guida brings it in every fight, and he fights his heart out. I root for him, even knowing his tiny T-Rex arms will impede his boxing, and put him at an instant disadvantage.
Florian on the other hand, is a skeletal figure who may well clank when he walks. He reminds me of OB-1 in Star Wars, as I’m quite sure if you killed him with a light saber, you would pick up an empty Gi, with no corpse anywhere to be found. His ground game is solid, and he brings the superior skill set into the octagon. Florian’s elbows are sharp enough to cut a diamond, which will come in useful if they are locked in a guard-type fighting position, allowing Florian to strikes from the bottom and open up Guida’s Cro-Magnon Neanderthal cranium.
Florian should win this fight while demonstrating a superior set of skills, but Guida’s best chance is his attacking cardio-superman style of forcing fights. He needs to tag Florian and capitalize if he is to have a chance of winning this fight. Possibly a burst of strikes from Florian’s guard could get it done. But the odd on favorite is still Florian.
John Fitch v. Mike Pierce:
Fitch has fought the best, and doesn’t back down to anybody. He hasn’t lost a fight to a human since 2002 (GSP doesn’t count, he isn’t human; he’s a French-Quebec Canuck). His victories read like an all-star list of the who’s who of the UFC. He also proved to be as resilient as the Evil T-1000 in Terminator 2 when he fought the greasy Cannuck, and kept fighting and trying to win despite being hit by everything but an Aunt Jemima maple syrup bottle. (There is no truth to the rumor GSP had astro-lube on his back side for that fight.)
Pierce doesn’t exactly have the resume of a top contender. Some quality wins, over some tough opponents, but hasn’t exactly fought anybody of Fitch’s level. Match-ups make fights, and MMA math doesn’t work any better than paper, rock, scissors. Where Scissors beat Paper, who beat Rock, so Scissors is confident they can beat rock as well. . . But Pierce doesn’t even look to be on Fitch’s level on paper, and I think he will get cut to shreds, and smashed out of the octagon. Welcome to the big leagues Mr. Pierce.
Fitch’s chin takes away Pierces only chance, a punchers chance, a lucky shot. The only hope for Pierce is to try and bait Fitch into an illegal blow, then refuse to continue; otherwise he has no chance to leave without a loss.
Frank Mir v. Cheick Kongo:
This is a 3 round fight, that easily could have been a 5 round fight for the heavyweight championship of the world. A real treat for fight fans, as the match up of styles is what makes MMA so interesting to watch. The high level both fighters are at, and the fact either could be fighting for a championship right now, or in the near future adds to the intrigue of the fight. It’s a prelude to one or both fighters getting a shot at the title, interim title, or whatever other event takes place to decide who gets to put on the golden belt.
Mir, fresh off getting his ass handed to him by the abominable snowman (AKA Brock Lesnar) making him an even 1-1 in cross species matches, will take on the giant Frenchy, Cheick Kongo. While I can’t help but to notice a slight resemblance to Simon Adebisi, (Played by Adewale Akinnouy-Agbaje) in the HBO prison story Oz, it posses an interesting and exciting match for both fighters.
Mir is a ground fighting champion, who has the talent (cardio willing) to impose his submission skills on any human, snowmen, sasquatch, tree, or anything else he sets his mind to. His standup is not on the same level as his ground game, but has shown some vast improvement over the last several matches, with an impressive boxing display in his match with Nog.
Kongo brings an exciting standup arsenal with a well utilized reach advantage, which he is capable of exploiting from all four of his Dhalsim(Street fighter video game character) like appendages. I don’t think Mir can be out of Kongo’s range and in the Octagon at the same time. There is no place to run to, no place to hide, so as long as Kongo keeps some distance between the two of them, he should be in good position. But that’s easier said then done. Kongo recently suffered a loss to Cain Velasquez, but that could happen to anybody. Mir and Velasquez are two very different fighters, so that shouldn’t weigh heavily as a predictor to this week ends fight. And lets not get back into MMA Math.
Mir battles through the technically sound, but un-explosive punches, kicks, knees and elbows to submit Kongo on the ground. I don’t think it will be a true submission lock, but a bad position that allows Mir to pummel Kongo into a stoppage or submission.
Then the main event, BJ Pen v. Diego Sanchez:
BJ Penn, everybody’s favorite pudgy pugilist is probably the most technical BJJ guy in the elite ranks of the MMA game. He’s fought (his weight) at many weight classes including a K-1 match against Machida at 205. Here, he comes into the Octagon, or at least weigh ins, more than 50 lbs lighter, and ready to do battle with fellow weight class jumper, Diego Sanchez.
BJ, known for his ground game, has some of the best boxing attributes (reach) and skills in the lightweight division. He put a boxing clinic on T-Sherk (who has a T-Rex like lack of reach from those short little arms) and has even boxed GSP in the 170 lb division (for one round at least) to the point that many felt it should have been a 10-8 round for BJ, in their match prior to grease-gate.
BJ’s biggest problem, is when he gets into trouble in a fight, he’s like a fish out of water. He doesn’t get into trouble often enough in training to have a clue how to deal with it, and just lays there absorbing punishment until somebody comes to his rescue
Sanchez: He may not be the weirdest guy in MMA, but he might be the worst at hiding it. The good part is there can’t be any skeletons in his closet, as he displays them openly year around as if it is Halloween at the Sanchez home 365 days a year. That said, he too sports some serious ground skills, and has fought bigger opponents with tremendous success. He hasn’t shown enough boxing or take-down skills for me to believe he is a serious threat in this match. That leaves BJ to decide if he wants to stand with Sanchez or take the fight to the ground. Nice to be the one making such decisions in a fight. Yes, Sanchez beat Clay Guida, of who I am a big fan, but Guida, unfortunately also suffers from T-Rex syndrome, so beating him in (mostly) boxing doesn’t prove he has boxing skills to cope with an opponent with serious reach, like BJ.
BJ wins this fight by beating Sanchez on their feet, then pouncing on his bloodied corpse to finish him off by beating him until the referee jumps in and stops the fight, to end the night of fights, much like a parent breaking up a teenager’s party when the parent(s) unexpectedly return a night early from vacation. Next the audience in attendance will make their way to the door, much as the teenager’s do, leaving only a mess behind. And BJ will leave a mess behind as well, named Sanchez.
