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KankleKiller's UFC 104 Preview
Home » KankleKiller's UFC 104 PreviewKaNkLeKiLlEr’S
UFC 104 Preview: Looks Like Three The Hard Way To Me:
By Jon Rooker
There are only three matches that really interest me. However, I see a few more things that I find interesting on this card. Some of the nicknames, appearances, and possible foreshadowing of future UFC bouts are intriguing.
Lyoto “The Dragon” Machida v. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua:
Machida: Ok, I’m not a fan of Machida, I think luck, match-ups, and low quality opponents have all factored into his undefeated record. My God, it’s a widely accepted belief that Machida slurps down urine slushies. Talk about taking water-sports to a new (and unnecessary) level. The uni-browed UFC LHW champion with the shark looking eyes rolled up in his head likea porn stars AVN award winning fake orgasm should beat the over-the-hill former pride fighter.
Shogun: Since returning to the UFC he has three fights, and the man has lost to a former TUF fighter (Forrest “Curious George” Griffin) and beaten the Geritol twins Chuck Liddell and Mark Coleman. Is that all it takes to get a title shot in the 205lb division these days? Really?
Analysis: I fully expect to see Machida standing in the center of the octagon, victorious, sucking down a steaming Penis-Collata or pissing in the air and chomping the stream like my pit bull chases the stream coming out of the garden hose. All the while he will likely be screaming at Dana in a pathetic imitation of Achilles, “Is there no other? IS THEIR NO OTHER!” What has this sport come to?
Cain Valasquez v. Ben Rothwell:
Cain is being marketed as a possible candidate to unseat the Goro-looking Brock Lesnar as the Heavyweight champion. They match him up with an opponent who is listed at the top weight allowed to compete in the heavyweight division, 265 lbs. Are they trying to convince us that if Cain can beat one 265lb’er, he could just as easily beat another? Is it that hard to sell us on the possibility of Lesnar being beaten that they have to market the opponent several fights ahead of time based on opponent weight?
Rothwell: He took out Fat-Boy Slim AKA Roy Nelson via split decision. Then he continued his assault on obesity when he beat former UFC Heavy weight champion Ricco Rodriguez. He wasn’t so lucky when he lost to Arlovski, but fared better with three wins over, well, Poland. All in all, there are a few name opponents, but these days they are more known for being over the hill, out of shape has beens, or never have beens than quality fighters. He even has a 2001 loss to Tim “The Giant Sloth” Sylvia. I don’t think he’s ready for Cain, and I’ll bet the UFC strategists and odds makers are buying into Rothwell either.
Analysis: Rothwell is a Lamb to the slaughter, and their will be blood.
Joe “Daddy” Stevenson v. Spencer “The King” Fisher
Joe Daddy? I don’t like the nickname, and like Povlov’s dogs when I hear a certain sound, I began to drool. My ears and brain connect to fit the term “Joe Daddy” into another schemata, that would be “Go Daddy” and when I hear it I want to see a hot chick in a bikini, or less talking to me and swinging a hot ass back and forth. On second thought, nix the talking.
That said, this is one hell of a fight. Joe Daddy doesn’t give away victories to chumps, despite being unable to be the man in his division, he is one hell of a gatekeeper.
Spencer “The King” Fisher: Now that’s a cool nickname. It’s simple, it rolls of the tongue, and for once it’s not that silly. Fisher has had has up and downs, but some big wins.
Analysis: Fisher could pull the fight out, in fact this is going to be a good match-up. Stevenson has the edge in this fight and I see him winning a hard fought match, but it is so close that I will be a win-win for the fans, either way.
Ryan “Darth” Bader: That isn’t the nickname I would put with “Bader” as a last name. . .
Jorge “El Conquistador” Rivera: I do work in criminal defense, and his promo pic looks a hell of a lot like a lot of the mug shots I see on a daily basis. I’m sure of it, on the UFC website, the picture they use looks exactly like a mug shot. I’m guessing they photo-shopped the height markings off the back screen.
Razak Al-Hassan: He slightly reminds me of “Too Sweet” (played by Leon Isaac Kennedy, who is currently married to a former Miss Bahama’s - Go Leon!) in the prison boxing series “Penitentiary” of the late 70’s to late 80’s era. Just a little, and keep in mind its pretty late when that comes on HBO. Mr. T was even his trainer in one of the movies, part two I believe. Not that I watched it. But I’m glad the big-bush-era has gone the way of the dinosaur.
